today i got hit by a traffic stoper for the trains. i was on my scooter, music in my ears was loud (i have big, amazing headphones) and i didn't hear all the beeps and sirens and those things usually produce... i was imberassed, scared, my head hurt. i think only two people know about this post, otherwise i would hide this event with due shame. also today while registering dagny for school at the welcome back bbq, we ran into another parent who i went to high school with. we were friends, we are friends, although mostly have been bound together by the teenage pregnancy. as we were making small talk through the sounds of overly excited seventh grad girls hugging each other and under develoloped seventh grade boys still playing some version of hit and run game, this mother told us how she can't stay in wendover overnight. she can go there, but she refuses to stay in the hotels there. why? because its gross. because all kinds of gross people sleap, stay there. i go through out my days and the distance between me and others grow. at times unintentionally, other times intentionally... what the fuck makes someone think they are so much better that somehow them sleaping on a certain bed is ok and when others do it, its gross? is it becaue that other is poor, black, hispanic, uneducated, strange, because they gamble, because their social interactions are not according to the standard? or is it only because they are the other? how does my high school friend breathes the air that we all share? is it truly possible that she has never thought of the possibility that for so many others in this country and around the world there is so much more, ohhh so much more they worry about every morning they get up? i slept in wendover's 3 star hotel couple of nights ago. i felt guilty that after we left they had to wash the sheets as part of protocol. when we were both in high school and got pregnant right out of high school and had to figure out everything, a hotel room would have been a luxury even for her. i don't know if it is the age, money or what changes us so much.
